BounceBack

Find the Good

Now that you've removed all of the negative reminders of your past relationship, it's time to fill those voids with positive influences. Surround yourself with the good things in your life. Reconnect with family and friends for support. Remind yourself that there are positive forces in your life and beyond, and utilize them. Read more about all four phases in our Believe section. Find out more

It's like this: :-)
- 27 Mar 2010
- Posted by faraway
I'm a positive guy ... one of those: look-the-glass-is-almost-full (forget the half-full -- it is ALMOST full).

I live by as much wisdom as I have - and I listen to others wisdom along the way and adopt what works and helps me grow.

After my divorce (19 years of marriage and 2 children - of which I have 100% custody) - In a few months I was back on my feet and life was dandy.

Got thrown for a loop when my 18 year old decided to try to kill himself (came home early and found him (thank God)) - then he decides that illegal drugs are a way to self-medicate his depression. It was hard - but I managed through... he is now at college, working for campus police (yes, ironic).

Met a wonderful woman - we were soulmates (as cheesy as that sounds) - and it was wonderful.

Her life fell apart and she didn't have time for me, let alone the engagement we shared for a month before it all fell apart.... after many fits and starts, she has dropped all communication...

I tell all this garbage, not to show regret - but to tell you what a joy it is to truely love... To realize what those silly love-songs talk about - to know I had that in my life - and to know (without a doubt) that I will have it again.

The trials of life are numerous - and we can choose how we want to take 'em. I've been through a bunch of heart-ache over the last couple years - and the biggest lesson: Life IS sunshine & roses ... unicorns & rainbows... whatever you want to say: LIFE IS GOOD.

While I'm dealing with the loss of soul-mate in a situation that I still am very confused by ... I find comfort in knowing that "it is better to love and loose it than to not love at all" ... and to know that there is another wonderful woman out there who will fit in my heart and help me grow even more.... AND ... to say this in a way that may sound a bit prideful: She is going to be one lucky woman to be in my life (yes, I am quite the romantic).

I say this to all those people who think that loving and losing is the pits... and why try again? I say: Why try? Because of Love. Because you and I can have what we had in the past.

Because life is to learn - and to find happiness inside.

Boy.. I love my life!

My ex-wife called me 6 months after the divorce to try to get back together.... I had moved on. The next woman in my life (not the soul-mate) dumped me and called me six months later... my soul-mate will probably call me in six months ;-) - - BUT, my guess... it will probably be too late.

I love being in love... don't you? :-)

search for a member's story

phase 2 member stories

What is wrong with me
- 29 Nov 2011
- Posted by linsenhofen
I recently found out that I have a Love Obsession. It has been nearly 2 years long of heartache and wondering why it has not let up. I found a really good book that was written by Susan Forward called, "Love Obses...

I recently found out that I have a Love Obsession. It has been nearly 2 years long of heartache and wondering why it has not let up. I found a really good book that was written by Susan Forward called, "Love Obsession, when it hurts too bad to let go" Yes, I cyberstalk, fantasize, ruminate about the good times and the bad, send him notes, gifts, cards, magazine subscriptions. When will this go away! I feel crazy and like it will stay with me forever. I am tormenting myself. He wants nothing to do with me. I am ready to embrace the positive but where is it. I do admit that I am feeling a bit better. I do not want to do antidepressants. Am I just kidding myself by not medicating?

More >
Report >
Starting to see the light....
- 17 Sep 2011
- Posted by starr0329
I just realized that today makes 1 month since we broke up. Its funny how time flies. I have come to realize that he was never the one for me, we were never meant to be, and he was never the end all be all guy, he w...

I just realized that today makes 1 month since we broke up. Its funny how time flies. I have come to realize that he was never the one for me, we were never meant to be, and he was never the end all be all guy, he was never the one I was meant to be with, and alll of this is ok. Actually its quite reassuring. I cry less and less, wonder what hes doing less and less, and Im learning to live life for me. I have been blessed with amazing family and friends that have been there with me since day 1 of this whole ordeal. I actually smile or laugh, and its not being fake, its becuase I'm actually happy. Even though I have my moments where I'll cry or just feel down about the whole thing, I think the important thing I remember is that I will love again, and that he's not it for me, he was never it. I just thought he was. Someone out there will love me, accept me, and appreciate me for just who I am, one day, and Im ok with waiting for him.

More >
Report >
abuser un aware of themselve???
- 12 Sep 2011
- Posted by amanda
how come the abuser usually denied themself as one? yelling is not the solution to controlling their wife, wish he know what he doing is destroying his wife, all because of some loser young b that like to butter him...

how come the abuser usually denied themself as one? yelling is not the solution to controlling their wife, wish he know what he doing is destroying his wife, all because of some loser young b that like to butter him up to get a raise.

More >
Report >
The Time is Now
- 03 Sep 2011
- Posted by Lucia17
I recently had a discussion with a friend about everything that has happened and I realized that I am not the sad and crying girl that I was. I was able to analyze my relationship and share experiences from it with ...

I recently had a discussion with a friend about everything that has happened and I realized that I am not the sad and crying girl that I was. I was able to analyze my relationship and share experiences from it with more reason than emotion.At one point I even laughed about it and admitted that my new cooking skills must have been his parting gift. I knew I was well and truly over it when I found myself wanting to date again. I haven't done that yet. I don't believe I'm completely ready to make that leap. I am ready to start chasing happiness again though, and that starts with me. In the months while I was recovering, I found a job walking neighborhood dogs and I spent time with people I have not seen in a long time. They asked about what had happened and I found that I was able to talk about it without feeling terrible. I kept finding things that made me happy, like reading books and trying new recipes. I guess what I'm trying to say is that the most positive thing I have gained is growth. I matured into a better person through this experience. Having your heart stomped on makes you a nicer person. It's a pity that it had to happen that way, but I don't regret becoming a kinder person. I'm also more aware of what I'm looking for in another person. There were a lot of things that ocurred in my relationship that I was not okay and I was so afraid of losing that person, that I just tolerated it. In the end, that didn't help. I am never doing that again. It's unfair to the other person and to me. I was in a store when a song came on about being better off without an ex. That song made me laugh. That's when I was absolutely sure that in time I would be happy again. I am happy with where I am right now. I am going into my final semester of college and I look forward to spending time with my friends and graduating. I am at a crossroads for work and life and I couldn't be more excited about it. I'm not sure where I'll end up or what I'll be doing in a year, but now I actually enjoy the uncertainty. Someday, I hope to find someone that will face that with me, but for now, I can chase my own happiness.

More >
Report >
Living for ME
- 03 Aug 2011
- Posted by hopefulnikky
Since finding out my ex was cheating on me and still with that girl, I hve tried my hardest to distract the obsessive thoughts about him and her with filling my life with positive things. I have grown a lot in my re...

Since finding out my ex was cheating on me and still with that girl, I hve tried my hardest to distract the obsessive thoughts about him and her with filling my life with positive things. I have grown a lot in my relationship with God and my passions. I got into volunteering to help others which helped me focus on others less fortunate. This helped me realize how blessed I am for my health, and my friends. I love dance and I decided to splurge on my membership at a girly dance studio! I loved it I have regained confidence with feeling sexy in my own skin and by just being me. I have also decided to move out of my current place because it reminds me of that season with him. I am ready for a fresh adventure. I am still struggling with missing him and thinking about if he'll ever reach out to me again. I know it takes time and I am trying to let him go so I can make myself ready for the right person.

More >
Report >
Ready to Let Go
- 18 Jul 2011
- Posted by kc2boricua
Well 4 days ago came the news I was dreading to hear - he got engaged to someone out of the country and had only known thru phone calls and internet chats. I think after 3 days of crying on and off, I realized what ...

Well 4 days ago came the news I was dreading to hear - he got engaged to someone out of the country and had only known thru phone calls and internet chats. I think after 3 days of crying on and off, I realized what am I doing? Would I really want him back anyways? When I imagined then in my mind how would things be if all of a sudden he came around and said he wanted us to be back together - I thought to myself I would be miserable. He's not any fun, demanding, self-absorbed, non-compassionate, and easily lies. What the heck was I thinking in the first place??? Does it still sting though that he chose somebody else? Of course...rejection hurts no matter what. Am I going to continue to put more into myself and my life now? Absolutely! Will I ever love again and let myself be vunerable to this type of pain? Well.....maybe I'll save that for Step 3, because I'm not feeling that yet. I'm closer to God know that I had been in the past and with his strength I'll get thru this and other trials along this bumpy road called life. =)

More >
Report >
its been a while now
- 29 May 2011
- Posted by campncat
Jan 26 our divorce was final. I had to have him served while he was back in the area in December for a jury trial (that he lost )because he moved to Tijuana Mexico. During that time his flavor of the week was suppo...

Jan 26 our divorce was final. I had to have him served while he was back in the area in December for a jury trial (that he lost )because he moved to Tijuana Mexico. During that time his flavor of the week was supposedly pregnant and I had to give up my engagement ring to get him to step off and leave. It was hard seeing him again and he had difficulty too. The farther it gets behind me the easier its becoming and each time he tries to contact me a knot materializes in my stomach. All this time I have been working 2 jobs and planning to move because I will be losing the house I bought before we met. Much has been keeping me busy and there isnt a day that goes by that I dont wonder how he is. Bankruptcy/divorce/foreclosure. I was nailed with the trifecta but have not burst into flames so far. Yesterday a chance meeting with the grandson of a previous owner showed up at the house I am trying to sell. I am hoping this pans out. Imagine this: one check has not bounced since he left; less money stress alone is helping me sleep better. God must have grand plans for me. so far so good.

More >
Report >
hello world, how u been?
- 16 May 2011
- Posted by agram
i realized i cant change my past, i only can push forward to future, if my marriage isnt ment to be so be it. hello world its been a while, havent been this free in a while.

i realized i cant change my past, i only can push forward to future, if my marriage isnt ment to be so be it. hello world its been a while, havent been this free in a while.
Report >

Find the Good

It's like this: :-)

search for a member's story

phase 2 member stories

What is wrong with me

Starting to see the light....

abuser un aware of themselve???

The Time is Now

Living for ME

Ready to Let Go

its been a while now

hello world, how u been?

Phases

believe in bouncing back

cast your vote