When we begin the serious work of improving ourselves, I think on some level, we have this idea that we will become these perfect beings. Negative feelings no more, we will be floating on a cloud of expanded consciousness and peace 24/7. Perhaps this is possible, I do not know. Maybe I am just not working on myself enough!   But, I suspect that for most of us, we are still...

When we begin the serious work of improving ourselves, I think on some level, we have this idea that we will become these perfect beings. Negative feelings no more, we will be floating on a cloud of expanded consciousness and peace 24/7. Perhaps this is possible, I do not know. Maybe I am just not working on myself enough!

But, I suspect that for most of us, we are still going to be prone to the foibles of the human mind and experience negative emotions sometimes; unless perhaps, we retreat to a mountain top or a cave, where we never have to deal with another human being again. When on your path to betterment, always remember that perfection is not the goal, thinking so will surely set you up for failure and unnecessary berating of yourself.

Since perfection is not the goal, what is? Well, I guess there are many, but for me, it is about constant self-examination and becoming the best person we can be, trying our best at all times. I have no doubt we can make serious strides and effect significant change, but if we can accept that we will still have our human moments, it will make for a more pleasant journey.

When the ‘’imperfect’’ moments arise, the goal is to work on handling them better. We know we should not gossip about others, but sometimes a not-so-nice thought arises and you may have an itch to say something. The goal then becomes doing your best to keep your mouth shut. We know we should not care about what other people think, but sometimes we might. The goal then becomes doing what we want anyway, despite the discomfort of thinking others do not approve of you. We know that no one is responsible for our feelings but ourselves, but sometimes we may find ourselves reacting inappropriately. The goal then becomes making yourself take that uncomfortable look inside and honestly examining what prompted your reaction. We know there is no need to feel anxious about the future provided we have set clear intentions for what we want and left the ‘’how’’ to the Universe, but sometimes we feel riddled with panic. The goal then becomes doing something that you know can quell the anxiety rather than following the old habits of losing yourself in the feeling for the next several hours.

Sometimes, of course, we will not make the best decision, we will not take the best course of action; it happens to the best of us. In those moments, forgive yourself. When you are making conscious efforts to change, your awareness will expand and you will gain a much better understanding of why you feel the way you feel and why you do the things you do. Armed with this awareness, you will be more reflective and examine these moments in greater depth. This may not stop them from happening, but they will happen less frequently or with a reduced intensity.

If you can truly surrender the idea that you will be perfect and happy every waking second of the day, life becomes much easier to deal with.

Kelli Cooper is a freelance writer who runs the personal development blog Life Made to Order. She is also the author of Passing on Parenthood: A Childfree Woman Speaks Out. She has a passion for personal development and sharing what she has learned in her own journey to help others improve their lives as well.