Bouncing back is a complicated endeavor. Not only does it involve forgiving those who may have hurt us, but it also requires that we acknowledge and make amends for any suffering that we’ve caused others. As we begin to move into the next year of our lives, the holiday season seems like the perfect time to think about how we can possibly reconcile old grievances. No matter how you decide to say "sorry" – the important thing is to honor the other person’s feelings. Always strive to be sincere in your desire to make things right. Though it is often hard to admit fault, the act of apologizing heals the afflicted person and it frees us from our own guilt.
Here are a few creative ways to say I’m sorry:
The Embarrassing YouTube Video
A simple verbal apology is always great, but self-deprecation goes a long way in making amends. Picture this: you are dancing a jig, and singing your apology to the melody of Lady Gaga’s Paparazzi or Boyz II Men’s End of the Road. Couple this elaborate gesture with an “I’m Sorry” sign you have --not only a hilariously heart-felt apology-- the potential for Internet fame!
The Charitable Contribution
Often we meet over dinner to say we’re sorry, or beg for a lunch date, but why not try asking for a date at the local shelter? Or maybe even follow up your apology with a donation to your pal’s favorite cause? Saying you’re sorry is great, but coupling that with a physical (or monetary) expression is very powerful. You are not only telling your loved one that you care about their feelings, but you are also stressing that what is important to them is important to you. In essence you’re saying, “I care about your passions.” Be careful though, you don’t want to seem like you are trying to buy forgiveness.
The Care Package & Memory Box
A mix tape with all of their favorite songs, pictures of the two of you doing something awesome, perhaps even birthday cards or concert tickets that you’ve saved – these things all show that, on some level, you cherish relationship. Sending a box of memories says, “I’d like to go back to the good times.” Consider also throwing in her favorite snack or an old copy of his favorite book. A care package indicates that, well, you really do care.
The Handwritten Note
This seems simple, but no one writes notes anymore – in the age of facebook chatting, skyping (which, apparently is a verb) and email, the art of letter writing is all but dead. Imagine how nice it is to receive a card in the mail, or even a short letter on elegant stationary. This is a great way to tell a friend that you care enough about the relationship, and that you’ve taken time, thought and effort to articulate this to them.
Try these out, and share some of your own apology ideas! Oh yea, one last thought: Sometimes, when bad things happen we blame ourselves. Consider crafting one of these creative apologies for yourself. Write yourself a letter, or put together the perfect care package and give it to yourself. Make an effort to let go of self-loathing, and forgive yourself for any painful mistakes.
Patia Braithwaite is a relationship writer and memoirist living in New York City.
Check out her blog, http://menmyselfandgod.wordpress.com, to see how she’s turning her break up blues into a nonfiction book.
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