A breakup can leave anyone feeling an array of emotions: confusion, anger, resentment, sadness. These visitors can be all too familiar. Their impact differs, but their purpose is always the same: to raise havoc. When accepting a difficult change, according to BounceBack's 4-phase model, we need to release the negative before we ...

A breakup can leave anyone feeling an array of emotions: confusion, anger, resentment, sadness. These visitors can be all too familiar. Their impact differs, but their purpose is always the same: to raise havoc. When accepting a difficult change, according to BounceBack's 4-phase model, we need to release the negative before we can embrace the positive.

Dealing with the inferno that once burned passionately for the ex can be harmful to the emotional, mental and physical state if one doesn't know how to properly extinguish the fire. The temperatures may be rising, the fire may be spreading, but if knowledge of the proper tools is known, then there is nothing to fear. When releasing the negative it's pressing to be as honest as possible. Dealing with emotions like a child does can be the most mature move in an anger release. When a child cries it allows itself to feel the emotions intensely; thus being more inclined to letting them go. Of course, it's never wise to hurt others when a strong wave of emotion tries to take over, but when anger is embraced it can become a powerful teacher.

When a spark of anger flickers, receive it without judgment. Know that it is only a temporary visitor, and it is not part of your identity. Practice detachment from these emotions – observe, witness and become aware. Once you are aware of the anger, you are automatically its master. It's important to remember this when the wave of anger comes to visit. Once you are out of its fiery grip, you can start addressing it in a neutral way by finding understanding in the situation.

Accept the anger that burns inside of you. Allow it to burn, take a deep breath and let it go. Start trying to understand where the anger has come from. Is it stemming from a fear of abandonment? Do you resent anything that was said? Was some of it true? What can you do to change?

Work on transforming the anger. Once anger is transformed it becomes compassion. Focus on activities that can ignite a more compassionate side of yourself. For some, it may be a form of art – either singing, painting, writing or dancing. Others may desperately feel a need to connect – either through volunteering or giving some aspect of themselves to those who need it.

It may seem like a lot of work at first, and it's a complicated process when trying to master the emotional state. Give it time, and most importantly, give it the attention it needs. It's really not your enemy.

Erin is a spiritual director and writer with a passion for health and healing. More of Erin's writing can be found on her website Moxxy Girl, a movement created to help others obtain a way of being that is more expressive and explorative.