When it comes to where we tend to put our focus in our lives, a lot of us have the bad habit of looking at what is wrong, what is missing, what we do not like, the bad things that have happened. It is understandable. The crappy stuff has a strong emotional pull. Certain situations are certainly more pleasant than others and we naturally prefer the good stuff. So, no need to beat ourselves up fo...

When it comes to where we tend to put our focus in our lives, a lot of us have the bad habit of looking at what is wrong, what is missing, what we do not like, the bad things that have happened. It is understandable. The crappy stuff has a strong emotional pull. Certain situations are certainly more pleasant than others and we naturally prefer the good stuff. So, no need to beat ourselves up for having these types of feelings, for wanting the bad stuff to go away. We are all prone to having a pity party once in awhile, but we just want to prevent it from being an ongoing event.

But, with all of that being said, we must own the fact that we always have a choice on how to view our circumstances, where to put our attention. It is likely we are not always going to make the better choice – again, understandable.

It is okay to process the negative and feel our feelings. But, at some point we need to shift to the positive. If you are going through a bad break up for instance, that can be a pretty powerful thing. Even more so if it was not by your choice, but your former partner’s. When we are faced with these types of circumstances, we need to work on shifting to a different mode of operation. Instead of focusing on everything we think is wrong with our life, we should try to shift our attention to what is RIGHT with our lives.

No matter what is happening right now, I assure you there is at least one good thing to focus on, no matter how small. So many of us have so many blessings that we just take for granted and we express zero gratitude for them, such as being healthy, having a nice place to live, a good job, good friends and family who loves us.
The negative stuff can be so consuming it is like we cannot see anything else. Because this one thing is wrong, our whole life is just simply horrible. When we focus on what is right, we can gain some perspective, we can realize that what is happening now is maybe not so bad. We still may feel upset about it, but the intensity will lessen.

Focusing on what is right in our lives will also help make your life better. What we focus on expands. How we feel dictates so much of our live experience and when we start feeling good, more good things will come to us, in all areas of our life.

Make your best effort to bring this idea into your awareness and apply it as often as you can. Maybe make a list of all the things you are grateful for and carry it around with you or make a fresh list every morning when you wake up. Do not overlook even the smallest things because if they were to be taken away from you tomorrow, you would surely miss them, such as your health.

Life is what we make it and while our human nature makes us prone to having a range of emotions, we have great power over directing them and shifting them as best we can. Sure, you will have your moments when your mind wanders to the bad stuff, happens to the best of us. But, we must always remember the power of choice. We can always choose how to view our circumstances, where to put our attention. There is so much good in our lives that we become blind to when the bad stuff is going on. It is still there though, we just need to give it the attention it deserves.

Kelli Cooper is a freelance writer who runs the personal development blog Life Made to Order. She is also the author of Passing on Parenthood: A Childfree Woman Speaks Out.She has a passion for personal development and sharing what she has learned in her own journey to help others improve their lives as well.