Walking away from a relationship, a job or a commitment of any kind can be torturous, especially if you are not the one that wanted to part ways. Picking up the pieces and starting over in any aspect of your life is going to be difficult. You must expect the unexpected. You can alleviate some of the hardships if you change the way you look at things. If you look at life as a game, everyone in i...

Walking away from a relationship, a job or a commitment of any kind can be torturous, especially if you are not the one that wanted to part ways. Picking up the pieces and starting over in any aspect of your life is going to be difficult. You must expect the unexpected. You can alleviate some of the hardships if you change the way you look at things. If you look at life as a game, everyone in it as an opponent, every experience is a roll of the dice or a spin of a wheel and if you look at life knowing that you can always play again, as in “get back in the game” every time you lose… life and all its experiences will not seem so harsh.

Before you can win at Chutes and Ladders, you must slide down many slides and climb up many ladders. The theme of Connect Four is to get four coins directly in a row. When you lose, you let the coins fall out of the bottom and you always try again. Nobody only plays one round of Connect Four. In Monopoly you can become a millionaire and then lose every penny in one roll of the dice. These games are just like life. Take every experience and re roll the dice, spin another wheel, or pick yourself up and play a whole new game. Eventually you are going to win.

Here are three things to lose before you can win:

1) When someone breaks your heart, lose their number.

Don’t hold on to the past. Let go and let God lead the way in your life. Don’t call your ex and beg them for forgiveness, don’t text your ex and tell them you are going to change and don’t drive by their home hoping to get noticed. Surround yourself with great friends. Don’t lose your dignity, lose their number.

2) Back in the game? Lose your bad habits.

Are you ready to start dating again? Create a path anyone would want to walk down. Work on yourself physically, mentally and spiritually. Get rid of any bad habits you may have and stay open to new ideas, new people and a new love.

3) Lose your fears and anything negative.

A big part of moving on with our lives is being able to accept the unknown. It is only natural to have fears or negative emotions when our lives have just unexpectedly changed. When we have no control over what has just happened and no idea what is about to happen, a natural human reaction is to become fearful. This is something we have to change. Remaining positive and losing all negative emotions can actually help us get through our tragedy. One way to lose fear is to learn to trust. Embrace the events happening in your life and know they are happening for a reason.

Before you can win, you must lose. Life is full of ups and downs. Every experience makes us who we are. Every time we get let down by others, or have to face a strenuous situation, we are building character. Every slap in the face makes us stronger, wiser and more powerful. Every heart break brings us closer to what we are really looking for in life. And every arduous loss eventually leads to a stupendous win. Things don’t happen overnight, but when you learn to let go and trust in the process of life, you will learn to embrace every loss and prepare for your next win.

Alysia Stern is a published author. Her website is www.alysiastern.com