We have all heard this once in our lives after a breakup. Maybe you've even said it yourself (gasp!). It is a phrase that, when said, goes in one ear and out the other. It is a phrase, that when muttered out, is followed by the inevitable “That’s exactly what I did and look what happened!” What is this terrible phrase, you ask? "Once you stop looking for someone, you'll f...

We have all heard this once in our lives after a breakup. Maybe you've even said it yourself (gasp!). It is a phrase that, when said, goes in one ear and out the other. It is a phrase, that when muttered out, is followed by the inevitable “That’s exactly what I did and look what happened!” What is this terrible phrase, you ask?

"Once you stop looking for someone, you'll find the one!"

Oh boy. That one stings. It is probably the most unrealistic, unattainable goal you can give someone who just got out of a serious relationship. In a nutshell, the phrase comes off as “Move On”, and who wants to hear that?! Is this individual even ready to move on? Even if they are, isn’t it part of our instincts to want a companion to spend our time with? It’s against human nature to just “stop” looking for someone.

This phrase always comes out of an individual's mouth who is in a relationship. Let's be honest, has any of your single friends ever given you this "advice" after a breakup? People tend to forget the hard parts about breakups and being single when they are in a great relationship. They believe that “the one” just walked into their lives when they were in a great place because they were over their ghosts of boyfriends/girlfriends past. Highly doubtful.

Although loving friends and family only intend the best, the phrase is often times misconstrued or totally ignored. It’s ignored due to the fact that this advice seems like an unfathomable scenario to a new, unintentional, single.

Here is a better concept of the phrase: When you start prioritizing your thoughts towards new goals and sources of happiness, then life will present you with opportunities that will make you more satisfied...whether that's with someone or not. Learn to live with the truth of what the breakup was and be okay with it, not necessarily over it. You may not ever find your perfect companion, but that certainly doesn’t mean stop looking.

Quite frankly, there is only one phrase that can be said to console a friend after a breakup. This same phrase can guarantee comfort and agreement. What phrase is this, you ask?

"I'm here for you."

Many times being a shoulder to cry on and someone to talk to is more healing than trying to give advice to someone. Chances are you think you know what the person is going through, but you have no idea. Now is not the time to throw out a phrase that is WAY more easily said than realistically done.

About Lindsay:

Lindsay currently resides in Brooklyn, transplanted from Wisconsin. She has a passion for writing and can often be found blogging about random pop culture and everyday life on aaaandthatswhatshesaid.blogspot.com. You can also follow Lindsay on twitter @SweetTweetTV.