It happens sometimes. That dreaded moment, when we find out that the person that we really care about does not feel the same way about us. It may take us by total surprise - we may have feared it, but didn’t think it would really happen. But now, the inevitable has happened and we find ourselves reeling. Here are 10 things NOT to do when someone breaks up with you: ...

It happens sometimes. That dreaded moment, when we find out that the person that we really care about does not feel the same way about us. It may take us by total surprise - we may have feared it, but didn’t think it would really happen. But now, the inevitable has happened and we find ourselves reeling.

Here are 10 things NOT to do when someone breaks up with you:

1) Call/Text/Email right away. We know we shouldn’t, but we do it anyway, and that extra glass of wine seems to insist our fingertips should start touching buttons. Allow space and time. If that someone really valued you or the past relationship, then he or she will contact you again for closure. And if they don’t, thank your lucky stars it ended!

2) Start dating right away. Take some time to be alone. Heal, learn, integrate - and then, start dating again.

3) Call a psychic to find out if he is coming back. The last thing you want to hear right now is that he isn’t. Focus on letting go and intend to meet the person who is more right for you!

4) Buy into the belief that there will never be anyone else. There always is.

5) Be a serial monogamist and commit to the next person you go on a date with. Explore. Come to know your non-negotiables in relationship and make sure you do not repeat your pattern again.

6) Design a multiple-choice test to find out his reasons for leaving. It doesn’t matter why. All that matters is that you were not a right fit.

7) Take it personally. We are brought together with people in relationships to learn more of what we want and don’t want. It’s not about you. Really. They just want something else and you deserve to be loved unconditionally.

8) Try to convince him you can give him everything he wants. You can’t. That’s why he left. Remember, you are only human.

9) Make up lies to tell your friends for reasons he left you: He’s gay, a hermaphrodite, or is moving to Afghanistan. Take responsibility for your part of why the relationship ended and you will come out on top.

10) Become a “rejecter” yourself and act out by pushing away the people who are closest to you. Use them for support now. Allow the ones you love and who are there for you in.

For more tools on how to deal with the loss of a relationship – get The Game of You™ here.

Lynn Zavaro has emerged as a defining voice in the art of guiding others to know themselves and create the life they’ve always wanted. She has a Masters degree in Counseling Psychology and her book and card deck set, The Game of You offers a powerful, profound and FUN experience of self-discovery and transformation. Learn to resolve daily issues, develop better relationships, and come to better understand your life’s path. Try the online version.