Ever send a dramatic email or text to an ex after a few glasses of wine, or an emotional stroll down memory lane? I think we all have. Where does it get you? What do you get out of it? Probably nothing but embarrassment and feelings of regret. It’s easy to get worked up and hastily contact someone that doesn’t deserve time or energy. It only takes a minute to dramatically type ...

Ever send a dramatic email or text to an ex after a few glasses of wine, or an emotional stroll down memory lane? I think we all have. Where does it get you? What do you get out of it? Probably nothing but embarrassment and feelings of regret. It’s easy to get worked up and hastily contact someone that doesn’t deserve time or energy. It only takes a minute to dramatically type out a text, push send, and then have that fear of, “OMG what did I just do?” and/or “Will I even hear back from him/her?”

Thanks to modern technology, avoiding this mistake can be as simple as making a few changes in your phone and computer. Don’t Delete! Just Say “No”…

Whenever I’d go through a breakup, I’d delete an ex’s number…then randomly manage to recall it from memory-which would cause me to make poor decisions. I’d recklessly text…and of course I would never hear back from the guy, and if I did, it wouldn’t be something nice which would lead to me being even MORE embarrassed. Rather than delete an exes number-simply save it in your phone as “No”. Or if you have a smart phone there are several apps available to help prevent drunk dialing, texting, and blocking certain numbers from your phone. 

Don’t Drink and Surf The Internet!
People tend to rationalize things differently after a few drinks, and if you find yourself writing a dramatic “what went wrong with us” email, after a tough night out. You may wake up the next day and have not just a hangover from drinking, but an emotional one, from the attempt at the angry Shakesperian sonnet you’ve tried to recreate for your ex.

Have a Buddy System
If you have the urge to text or email an ex. Have a friend that you can send the message to instead. Odds are you’ll feel better just getting it off of your chest to someone. There’s something about pushing “send” that can elevate a mood and get your adrenaline pumping. Forwarding it to a friend that will give you honest feedback about whether or not you should be sending the text to begin with is important to have.

Take a Deep Breath
Ask yourself what exactly you’re hoping to accomplish by messaging an ex? What kind of response do you want? Realistically what kind of response will you actually receive, if any at all? Will you be angry at yourself if you don’t hear back? What is the outcome you’re trying to achieve? If that’s a question you don’t have an answer for…you probably shouldn’t be trying to contact your ex.
 

Sleep on it
Take your mind off of things for a few hours, and let the urge pass. You will feel a million times worse sending something hastily, than sending anything it at all.

Randi Newton divides her time between New York and Los Angeles. Keep up with her on Twitter @WorldOfRandi, and her blog, www.wallstreetstripper.com, and her latest project, on Twitter @SeduceUTheBook.