Being in a dead-end relationship can sometimes make you feel inadequate and confused, but it’s not your fault. Love is good when it’s just right, but when it’s wrong it’s just plain wrong. Have you ever been in a relationship for so long, with no commitment, no engagement and you just feel like you’re stuck at a dead end? You even have some cases where you’ve established a committed relationship and even got engaged, but never made it to the altar.
Ironically, you’re still single and all your exes are supposedly happily married, so you start to think, is there something wrong with me? Are you tired of giving your all and getting nothing in return, but grief? Do you feel like you’ve prepared your exes for marriage, yet you're left holding the bag? Well, if you’re fed up of always being an option, instead of "the one,” here are some ways to help you break away from the same old cycle:
1. Jump on the Road of Recovery.
After being in an unhealthy relationship, we all need time to heal and don’t just rush through the whole process. Give yourself time to re-evaluate your life and re-establish what’s important to you, before jumping into another relationship. It’s never a good idea to play on your own emotions. Yes, it’s okay to feel lonely, disappointed, cheated, upset, maybe even a little saddened from your past relationship, but no matter how you feel, you can’t just misplace those same feelings with someone new. Because 9 out of 10 times you are only suppressing your feelings, and eventually they have a way of coming out at the wrong time. Misplacing your feelings with your new mate is a surefire way to have them head for the hills faster than you can say “I do.”
2. Make a Commitment to Yourself.
We often have a tendency to lose ourselves when we are involved, so much that when the dust finally settles and we have an epiphany that you’re not "the one,” we can hardly recognize ourselves. After trying so hard to make things work, we realize that we’ve all changed and not necessarily for the better. So with that being said, never love someone more than you love yourself. If a person truly loves you, they will love all of you, not just who you’ve become, but who you once were.
3. What You See Is What You Get.
Yes it’s tough at times to be vulnerable, allowing others into your life, especially when you are afraid of going down the same road again, but there’s no wrong or right in getting to know somebody. However, it’s important to put all your cards on the table and allow the next person to decide if they want to deal with it or not, and vice versa. So instead of beating around the bush, let it be known what’s right for you and remember living a lie is as good as saying “I’m living but I haven’t lived.” It takes entirely too much energy for people to be dishonest than to be yourself. Plus, being deceitful can only put a relationship in turmoil, and who really wants to be in a relationship full of trust issues?
So the next time you feel that you might have missed out on a good thing, just because they’ve moved on without you, don’t dwell on it too long. Just know that your life has been freed from dead weight that has caused you more problems than happiness and at the end of the day, what’s for you will always be for you. So keep these prevention tactics in mind and you’ll find yourself being "the one" sooner than you think.
Laura Yarborough is an editor and up-and-coming author who loves to inspire. She can usually be found writing about love, relationships, fashion, spirituality and interior design.
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