First, a little history: the very term 'SpeedDating' (R) is, well, a trademark of a certain rabbi in New York. As a person of Jewish heritage, I am free to say that this is, frankly, a downer. I'm sorry, a religiously-inspired notion of romance raises such anti-romantic images as....Rick Santorum, for instance. Seriously, this strikes me as akin to speed reading: you miss the point of great ...

First, a little history: the very term 'SpeedDating' (R) is, well, a trademark of a certain rabbi in New York. As a person of Jewish heritage, I am free to say that this is, frankly, a downer. I'm sorry, a religiously-inspired notion of romance raises such anti-romantic images as....Rick Santorum, for instance. Seriously, this strikes me as akin to speed reading: you miss the point of great writing and the opportunity to savor it. Yes, certain factual documents lend themselves to this methodology, even cry out for it for pragmatic purposes.

Unfortunately, its new 3D cousin appears realistically (outside of 'Sex & the City' glamorization, wherein all are glamorous....please) to make my point----- this is to serious dating what accountants are to taxes, full of sound and fury, signifying very little. Besides, its premise trite: first impressions are lastingly incisive. Really, what about bad hair days? I'm told that even Brad Pitt has these, on purpose (see any of the 'Oceans 11' series of films). See what I mean? It's the essence of superficiality.

Second, most of these 'events' are organized, bad enough, by matchmaking types, either individuals or groups 'devoted' to devotion. Ahem, it's random, you know, like walking down the street listening to The Doors' 'Hell, I Love You' on your portable whatever (more about that in another segment). Why not start an offshoot, BlindfoldDating, not trademarked, yet, and, your chances are just as good, maybe better (see: bad hair day commentary @ 1).

Third, a quote from an authoriative site: "A 2005 study at the University of Pennsylvania of multiple 'HurryDate' speed dating events found that most people made their choices within the first three seconds of meeting. Furthermore, issues such as religion, previous marriages, and smoking habits were found to play much less of a role than expected." Oh, really; don't you just love these academics (how many show up at these events?), studying the patently obvious. Wow, people are superficial alot and, um, decide mating decisions on.....looks. Watch any nature show and you'll see that we're not a unique species. Yes, there's the pheremone thing, chemistry not necessarily bringing 'good things to your life.'

Conclusion: There's a kind of guineau pig feel to this, given that there are so many academics involved in either running or 'studying' these events. Way back in the day it was called 'Candid Camera', today 'Punk'd'. My considered opinion, having had too many dates which I wished had been speeded along, is that this can best be done at a distance, you know, via sophisticated flirting the old-fashioned ways: use of words like 'yes' and 'no' and, my fave, 'maybe', preceded by letters/emails (not via chat rooms, ever), poems, even flowers (ones you've grown or picked are best). Read/reread 'Sense & Sensibility', and turn to romance before it was consigned to pulp novels.

PS: There's a poem by Lord Byron said to have been composed while he was very drunk, after meeting a woman at a party. It begins: 'She walks in beauty........' Google it, and be.......romantic.

JBPravda's a former lawyer/lobbyist, extant romantic artist in many media: www.jbpravda.com