"It turned colder - that's where it ends.
So I told her we'd still be friends.
Then we made our true love vow.
Wonder what she's doing now..."
Sandy and Danny may have thought their summer dreams were ripped at the seams, but we all know how that story turned out. More recently, Justin Timberlake swore that that his new romance “just can't be summer love”. What ever do you mean, JT? That “summer love” is less worthy, less credible, less real than love that begins during other times of the year?
Summer begins officially on June 21, but already, new summer romances are cropping up everywhere, hot and heavy and seemingly off to a great start. But, will they last, or are they just “summer loves” that will end when it turns colder?
Why is summer, in all its warmth and abundance, associated with a special kind of love – specifically, one that isn’t expected to last? Many other aspects of summer aren’t permanent – summer camp, summer break, summer jobs – so perhaps the same levels of commitment and expectations for the future are applied to relationships. Do summer relationships have a temporary stamp on them?
Perhaps the more important question is whether people enter into summer relationships with the intention of ending them when September hits. Recently, a group was discussing one couple of many in the recent onslaught of new relationships in our social circle, and a male friend said, “Oh, he got her in ‘spring lockdown’.” Most of us had no idea that there was such a challenge, such a timeframe, but if there’s a phrase like “spring lockdown” floating around, it must exist.
Apparently, there are two directions to take come April and May as one looks toward the summer and how it will influence their dating life. Direction one, you decide to play the field. It’s summer games, and anything goes. Many people like to get around in the summer – literally and figuratively. It’s not a bad deal, either: you aren’t committed to anyone, it’s nothing but playtime, and you can wait until the fall before considering taking anything beyond a hookup to the next level.
And direction two, the so-called, previously mentioned “spring lockdown”. While some want to keep options open, others want a summer partner, a standing date for all the trips, parties, and events that are to come. Summer is low-stress season, and having a boyfriend or girlfriend certainly takes the stress away from finding a date to that wedding. So, these people start working on finding someone in spring, leaving enough time to lock it down for the hot months.
Regardless of approach, summer romances seem to thrive. Defined by outdoor activities, less pressure, and warmth, summer relationships are, in a word, fun. Is this because deep down, no one is thinking about commitment? Yet?
Maybe at the beginning of summer, things feel carefree and strings aren’t attached, but what happens when Labor Day rolls around, the timeshare at the beach is up, half-day Fridays disappear, and everyone gets back to their regular routines? In literature, the archetype of Spring represents new beginnings, Summer, abundance, and Autumn, decline. It’s almost as if the falling leaves and dropping temperatures are metaphors signaling the end of hot and steamy summer love.
It’s at this point that reality sinks in, people take stock of their relationships, and some decide to end what they feel has been nothing more than a fling. However, there are the few that squeeze through the cracks, the few that believe in potential, the few that decide to stick it out and see where it goes. And some just might make it.
We asked our BounceBack Facebook fans if summer love can last, and overwhelmingly the response wasn’t no or yes, but “it depends”. As with any relationship question, we agree. It always depends – on the people, the circumstances, the timing – as no two relationships are ever the same.
So even though Sandy and Danny sing that a "summer fling, don't mean a thing," we know that’s not really what they hope for, and we know that anything is possible.
What do you think? Can a summer love turn into something more? Have you had a summer love, and if so, what happened?
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