Alcohol is a social lubricant and first dates can be full of jitters. Who hasn’t leaned on a drink in order to loosen up? But if we don’t remain mindful of how much we’re drinking, that date can end in disaster. It’s not just falling down and getting sick that’s a concern. Drinking just a bit too much can also send signals to your date that you aren’t comfortable around them or that...

Alcohol is a social lubricant and first dates can be full of jitters. Who hasn’t leaned on a drink in order to loosen up? But if we don’t remain mindful of how much we’re drinking, that date can end in disaster. It’s not just falling down and getting sick that’s a concern. Drinking just a bit too much can also send signals to your date that you aren’t comfortable around them or that they aren’t engaging enough.

First impressions, for whatever reason, are extremely important. You don’t want to give your date the wrong idea about your drinking habits. Not only do you want to avoid getting sloppy, but you also don’t want them to think you’re a teetotaler if you aren’t. The best approach is trying to drink no more than you would if you weren’t nervous. Not sure how? Well, let’s try managing the nerves with self-talk, instead of putting alcohol on top of them:

1. First of all, don’t be so hard on yourself if you feel a little stiff. Whether they show it or not, your date feels the same way.

2. Surely you’ve managed more anxiety than this. What about during a job interview? And in that case you certainly couldn’t just order another mojito. Remind yourself of how much you can handle.

3. Play the tape all the way to the end: Another drink may loosen you up for the time being, but will you be disappointed in your decision when you go to stand up?

4. Feeling an urgent need to cut through the angst and just be yourself? That comes with time and patience. There’s nothing on the menu to speed that up, at least not without a long list of pitfalls.

If you do have a drink, make sure you eat. Drinking on a fairly empty stomach is not going to help you put your best foot forward. Talking a lot and feeling jittery can keep us from eating as much as we would otherwise. If you aren’t getting dinner, try to eat something before you go out. Don’t be embarrassed to mention if you need a bite to eat on the date. It’s actually quite a charming segue. The best way to score points on a date is to be as genuine as possible.

Sarah Rae received her MFA in writing in 2009 and is currently pursuing a Master of Arts in psychology with a concentration in alcohol and substance abuse. Freelance writer and fiction editor for Prick of the Spindle she lives and writes in Brooklyn.