If you trust someone, let them into your life, and share the best parts of you, what’s really the big deal about trusting someone with the dark parts of your past, letting them into life before they met you, and sharing the worst parts about you?
There really shouldn’t be a big deal at all. Here is a look at three reasons why it is necessary and definitely okay to discuss your past with your partner.
Sexually Transmitted Diseases
This obviously isn’t an easy subject to just bring up to someone. “Hey, do you have any STD’s I should know about?” It could get pretty touchy. Well, if you haven’t discussed it yet, make sure you’re still using condoms. I highly suggest you do discuss it, though.
They have become your boyfriend or girlfriend for a reason. You gladly accepted their invitation into your life or vice versa. It’s time to gladly accept any part of their past they are willing to share with you. It’s time you share it as well. If you’re curious about the amount of partners they’ve had, I’m sure you’re not the only one itching with curiosity. Discuss the amount of partners you have both had, at least give a ball park number, and talk about the amount of protection you have used.
Would you prefer to find out sooner or later? This will ultimately make it easier to talk about and build your comfort for one another. Understandably, nobody likes hearing about their significant other with someone else, sexually. For the most part, that’s life and it needs to be addressed. If there is uncertainty, get tested together. If the relationship is real, worth it, and meant to be, there is no question that you will be able to face any obstacle together.
Wouldn’t you rather know than not know? Wouldn’t you expect that type of respect and consideration from the person you call your own? Talk about it.
Honesty
By talking about your past and your past sexual partners, it shows that you are willing to open up. You are not afraid of being honest. The day you become afraid of being honest to your boyfriend or girlfriend comes the day that you start being dishonest. Sharing your past with each other will not only provide awareness of STD’s but will also give you a better understanding of each other.
A person’s past can be extremely indicative of the type of person that they are. It can illustrate patterns, express insecurities, and open doors that have not been opened before. A relationship is a progressive, uphill battle. You constantly have to work at it and keep it afloat, doing your best for it not sink. If you have an idea or understand clearly what a person has faced in their past, whether its abuse, lack of excitement/pleasure, or just terrible dating, than you will one hundred percent be able to guide them through anything, accepting any situation that may arise.
Honesty is without a doubt the best policy.
Who Cares? The past is the past
Should someone’s past really matter? Should the past really affect the present? Should it affect your future with someone?
No…no…no.
Nobody should ever have to pay for the sins of their past or at least continue to pay for them when they are already long atoned for. The past is the past for a reason. If you are faithful, treating your significant other right and straying far away from infidelity, your past is now irrelevant. If anything, being with someone who you really care about and expressing all those great qualities I just mentioned should erase your dark, shaky past.
People focus so much on someone’s past. The dreadful number game haunts people all the time. An ex can make or break your relationship. Sexual experience can intimidate. Well, who cares? You chose to be with the person you are with now, not anyone or anything else from your past.
f your partner is not accepting of your past, then maybe they shouldn’t be your partner. The last thing you want in a relationship is to be judged constantly, with every move of yours scrutinized, rocking that giant Scarlet Letter on your chest. There is no need to be ridiculed, already obtaining the title of your past on your forehead. Let the past go. It isn’t worth letting it become your present.
Rewriting history is pretty much impossible. We cannot change who we used to be but only better ourselves for the present and ultimately for our future to come.
The past is the past. Who cares? (This isn’t a relevant subject to my life at all. I most definitely cannot relate…)
You can read other articles from Demetri at http://en.gravatar.com/demetri18#pic-1
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