When it comes to a relationship, we all usually model our behavior off of someone we know, whether it be consciously or unconsciously. There is always that great relationship, that wonderful bond, we observe that makes us want to mold and shape our relationship into. It could be our parents, best friends, a celebrity couple, or even two characters from a prime time television sh...

When it comes to a relationship, we all usually model our behavior off of someone we know, whether it be consciously or unconsciously. There is always that great relationship, that wonderful bond, we observe that makes us want to mold and shape our relationship into.

It could be our parents, best friends, a celebrity couple, or even two characters from a prime time television show. But whoever they are, they have done something right.

As children, we watch our parents’ marriage and think either of two things: “I want a marriage just like my parents” or “I hope I never end up like my parents”. The positive relationship between our mother and father reinforces in us that it is possible to meet someone, grow together, and have a long, healthy, and happy union. The negative aspects we may see in our parents relationship teach us what not to do, how not to behave, and what not to say to our significant other.

If our ideal relationship is one from the movies or TV, we will sit and watch on repeat how truly in love with each other they are. I mean, yes. Someone wrote that out, and yes, it doesn’t always work out like that in real life, but sometimes it is nice to have the hope. The hope that you tried to get your relationship perfectly as you see it.

Of course every single relationship is different, and even if we model it out after someone else’s, it will never be exactly the same, because doing that will cause severe discouragement. What we CAN do is take certain morals and values from the different relationships we see and imitate them into our own.

Take the way our parents resolve a fight and implement that the next time you and your partner start to argue. See the way our best friends keep their romance alive and try to emulate their passion into a way that fits you two. And, possibly, learn the way Ross and Rachel never gave up, even though there were hard times, they still knew they were meant for each other.

So, don’t let yourself get too caught up in replicating someone you knows’ relationship and start taking bits and pieces and form them into your own. Set the model yourself and look to that for guidance and direction. And you never know who just may be watching you and taking notes.

To read more from James, visit his blog, Fatal Abstraction.