Divorce is difficult on so many levels, emotionally, physically and financially. Having a trusted friend and your family's support can help you overcome the emotional turmoil-having a good therapist won't hurt either.
Physically I found one of the best things you can do is stay active, exercise! I like many other divorce's went on the "divorce diet" and lost a significant amount of weight over the course of my divorce. While the diet was not intended, the exercise was; it made me feel better about myself and was an excellent stress reliever!
Financially it is important to call in the professionals: a lawyer, an account or a certified divorce financial analyst (CDFA). These pros are trained in highly technical issues like how to split a retirement account or how to fund junior's college education. Even if you and your soon to be ex are friendly with each other it is important to get the pros involved. By being "nice" or trying to be fair you may miss out on some of the little things that can cost you. I know I did, and I certainly regret the decision to just "give it all away".
It is important to consider all of your marital assets and their future value. For example, a house with a mortgage that may or may not appreciate over the long term is not the equivalent of a tax-deferred investment account earning tons of interest.
Here are a few things you should remove your blinders for:
What does keeping the house mean?
Memories. That was the hardest part to walk away from for me. We had to sell the house as neither of us could afford it on our own. If you are keeping the house it is important to consider the big picture: mortgage, taxes, and upkeep. Even if the home will be paid off in the near future, taxes will be a constant.
If you "get" the house as part of your divorce settlement and plan to sell, don't forget to calculate capital gains. To see your bottom line take the after-tax value of the current value of the house, minus the mortgage.
I work, but I am not the breadwinner. Just because you both work outside of the home does not mean the non-breadwinner is not eligible for alimony. Maybe you took on a job outside of your career field to be home raising kids and taking care of the house, it will take time for you to play career catch-up.Make sure your divorce settlement reflects alimony and retirement benefits based on this fact.
Retirement is not as far off as you think.
As a non-breadwinner you most likely do not have the same amount in your retirement accounts as your soon to be ex. No one wants to give up what they have saved, but don't give in to being shafted from retirement earnings.
Tax-deferred plans can be split using the equivalent of half of the account in payments spread out over a few years. But the plan should include interest and also take into account the effect of tax deferrals you may not be eligible for.
Don't forget college for the kiddos.
Don't sign a divorce settlement until the college bills have been discussed and planned for. Kids of divorce may be less likely to go to college than kids of a solid marriage, mainly because their parents fail to support them adequately. Consider pro rating dollars for college based on each parent's earnings versus splitting it 50-50.
Turning a blind eye during divorce will only cause more stress later on; when you realize the retirement money you gave up, the house you fought for but can't afford, or the college bills you want to pay but can't.
Take the necessary steps to get help and ask questions when you need to and never miss the fine print.
Suzanne is a certified credit counselor and a Social Media Specialistfor CareOne Debt Relief Services. Suzannewrites for AStraight Talk on Debt. Follow Suzanne on Twitter @SuzanneCramer1 and @AskCareOnewhere she shares her insights on divorce and managing your finances.
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